Where will we go?

Avy left but it's alright, sometimes I think I love her more when we're apart. There are moments when I wonder how much she really needs me but deep down I know that she does. She's the sort of person I trust in, always, she doesn't have to say much for me to know what she's thinking and feeling.

I'm getting tired of Venice, the smell and the tourists. I don't want to go back to America just yet but I think I have to change something. Elise has to stay for another month, maybe I'll wait for her and bring her with me. I haven't seen much of her lately but I know she wants to see the rest of Italy too.

Where would you go if nothing could stop you?

In which she sits on a couch

My last weekend with Avy here, she told me she was leaving over dinner yesterday. I understand her, this is my country more than hers. We ate and drank at the Antica Besseta, just the two of us, like lovers. This city is so grimy and gray after sunset, the alcohol helps to make it more colorful.

So I'll be alone again, even though I have Elise. It's not the same, she doesn't know me like Avy does and maybe it's a good thing. I hate being stuck, when I meet new people I feel as if I can start all over again. I just don't know what to do with that freedom.

Recitar!

Elise is one of those people that can be superficial and profound at the same time. It's a rare quality and one that I admire, being able to talk about fashion or beauty as if it was a matter of life and death, while at the same time knowing everything about Italian turn of the century opera (when she's bored she whistles the intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana).

I'm told her father is an artist and her mother a former runway model - it almost sounds too good to be true and I want to meet them soon. They've lived all over the world and Elise has always moved with them, until she ended up in Venice studying architecture. She asks about me and I bend the truth, I'm afraid of what she would say if she knew so I keep things simple. At least for now.

#MilanFW

Italy is a the center of everyone's attention these days, because of the election of course. I on the other hand couldn't care less, especially when it's fashion week. Elise and I took the train from Venice on Thursday and have spent the weekend here together, going to shows and hanging around the Piazza del Duomo.

Except for the duomo itself it's not a pretty city, but the fashion is great. I loved Versace's "vunk" even though everyone else seems to hate it. I loved Cavalli's prints (that sort of looked like vintage Versace), and I loved Miuccia Prada's romantic elegance.

I wore: bodysuit (American Apparel), skirt (Gucci), clutch (Abro), necklace (Marc Jacobs), headdress (vintage)

Support

Thank you all so much for the sweet words, it means the world to me!

Elise and I have spent the evening in my hotel room, having some precious girl time together. She knows a masseuse that came by and helped me get rid of some excess tension. I feel how I relax more for each day, weights are falling off my shoulders. Maybe it's her company or maybe it's me, it really doesn't matter right now. She's pretty, I'll show her to you as soon as I get a new camera.

We've said we're going to call the business men from the bar, but time is on our side. All good things come to she who waits.

Mr Hemingway

Drinks at Harry's Bar is a total cliché, but some clichés are worth trying. History is everywhere in this city, hundreds of years of it. I went with Elise, she knows the streets better than I do, we drank our Bellinis and ate our olives and it was late on a Sunday.

Two men were watching us from across the room, we could both feel it and smiled at each other. They came and talked to us, it turns out they're business men from the US. I faked an Italian accent, they gave us their numbers and told us to call them. It's like I said, when I try to be alone I end up meeting new people, and this time those people seem to have a lot of money in their pockets.



 

New friends

It's so strange, whenever I try or want to be alone I end up meeting new friends. I had only been in Venice a week when someone started talking to me in the Ferragamo store. We tried on clothes together and went out for drinks in the evening. She's British with a French mother but lives and studies in Venice, her name is Elise and it feels as if we can talk about everything.

Not that I've told her everything about me of course, yet. Not many people know how I grew up and how my family is, and I've been gathering the strength to tell someone for years. I don't know what good it would do me but I think it's something I have to do.