It would be a lie to say I just woke up, but it's not entirely false either.
I'm proud of myself though, not only did I have the courage to talk to Liah - the naked model - we went out together yesterday. I'm not used to that lifestyle, but all those people watching us while we danced, it did something to me. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.
Speaking of that. I'm afraid to leave my room now, I know my mom would see what I only feel, that I had a little bit too much to drink last night. It's such hypocrisy, what is it to be upset about, really? Corpus Christi, right?
I haven't been thinking about it much lately, but sometimes it hits me that the reason I left my family and went to Italy was because of my doubts about this Catholic faith of mine. It still scares me.
My excitement for you is indescribable. You are on the verge of a change which will leave you naked and glowing in an unending light.
ReplyDeleteHiya!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by my blog. Much Appreciated :)
www.astoldbyshanee.blogspot.com
we're sometimes at those verges that either break us apart or give us the solution of a lifetime. Accept things as they come along. you'll eventually know what's right for you!
ReplyDeleteTake Care! :)
I hope you get over your fears soon ... lovely images :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid of my faith too sometimes. It contradicts everything I Love and believe in.
ReplyDelete+To Me It Matters+
It's a Matter of belief , belief in what you want to , fearing about what others think is just temporary , but yes we don't want to hurt our loved one's either . And this is life !!
ReplyDeleteI too have been disillusioned by false religion and the promises of man that had falsely spoken for God. I rebelled against everything I was taught after my professing ‘christian’ parent’s marriage ended in adultery. I thought they must all be hypocrites and God must be a joke if He'd allow all that to happen. I never asked, what did Jesus say about this? What does He say His followers would be like? What does He teach about forgiveness etc? I never once thought I could ask and He would actually answer me.
ReplyDeleteSo, sadly all my rebellion did was lead me into addictions, bondage and cynicism. I truly thank my Lord Yeshua for revealing the truth to me one night through His word over 5 years ago. Despite my own hypocrisy, sin, rebellion He loved me and gave Himself for me on the cross. I wasn't to put my faith in what man said about Him but in Him, in what He says and what He had done for me on the cross. That night He offered me Himself in exchange for my sinful lifestyle & gave me a new heart and a new spirit and power to live free of drug addiction, bulimia, anorexia and sexual addiction that was destroying me. My change had nothing to do with religion or church or confessions or mantras prayed but just responding to His offer of forgiveness, deliverance and a relationship. I met Him personally and have never been the same. I love the Lord Yeshua but He is not the one the catholic church teaches. And He did warn 'many will come in my name and mislead many.'
You are a beautiful woman and a gifted writer. My heart breaks for the confusion and guilt that religion and false promises has caused you. Could it be you are confused about your catholic faith because it isn't built on Christ as the foundation so when the storms come it doesn't stand? In Matthew 7 Yeshua says this will happen to false believers. But the real Christ can make the confusion clear, remove guilt and give a real desire to do right not out of guilt but out of love for Him as your creator and Lord.
My prayer is that you will get a bible, which is His word, open it up, read it in context and ask Him to reveal who He is, what He is like, how you can be saved, forgiven, have a relationship with Him both now and forever.
Peace,
Chelsea
www.believespeak.blogspot.com