In which she sits on a couch

My last weekend with Avy here, she told me she was leaving over dinner yesterday. I understand her, this is my country more than hers. We ate and drank at the Antica Besseta, just the two of us, like lovers. This city is so grimy and gray after sunset, the alcohol helps to make it more colorful.

So I'll be alone again, even though I have Elise. It's not the same, she doesn't know me like Avy does and maybe it's a good thing. I hate being stuck, when I meet new people I feel as if I can start all over again. I just don't know what to do with that freedom.

Home at last

Avy is here, I couldn't believe it until I saw her getting out of the taxi in Piazzale Roma, always with the movie star style sunglasses and high heels. We haven't talked much since, maybe there's nothing to talk about, and it doesn't matter as long as she's close to me again. I know she can't stay forever but for the first time in almost a year I feel at home somehow.

It rains here too, spring doesn't seem to be anywhere near but the sunlight is beautiful and I'm looking forward to warmer days. Some people are trying to convince you that shopping won't make you happy but they're wrong. I only have to close my eyes and imagine a summer dress from Ferragamo. If only everything else in life was that simple.

Mr Hemingway

Drinks at Harry's Bar is a total cliché, but some clichés are worth trying. History is everywhere in this city, hundreds of years of it. I went with Elise, she knows the streets better than I do, we drank our Bellinis and ate our olives and it was late on a Sunday.

Two men were watching us from across the room, we could both feel it and smiled at each other. They came and talked to us, it turns out they're business men from the US. I faked an Italian accent, they gave us their numbers and told us to call them. It's like I said, when I try to be alone I end up meeting new people, and this time those people seem to have a lot of money in their pockets.



 

New friends

It's so strange, whenever I try or want to be alone I end up meeting new friends. I had only been in Venice a week when someone started talking to me in the Ferragamo store. We tried on clothes together and went out for drinks in the evening. She's British with a French mother but lives and studies in Venice, her name is Elise and it feels as if we can talk about everything.

Not that I've told her everything about me of course, yet. Not many people know how I grew up and how my family is, and I've been gathering the strength to tell someone for years. I don't know what good it would do me but I think it's something I have to do.