Maybe it's just my imagination but whenever Avy's thinking of me I can feel it in my blood. Like her I sometimes forget, but when you love someone they're never really gone. They're a part of you that's always hidden somewhere underneath the skin, and that's what makes us love them.

If I don't miss Los Angeles I feel a greater need to go back to New York, not just to see her but to be in the city. Maybe I'll go soon, dad has told me he's going to stay in Milano one more week. I'm guessing he wants me to back with him but he would never actually tell me it to my face.


City of angels

We've arrived in Milano and I feel right at home as I always do here. Dad doesn't mention my mom, I guess she's still in Los Angeles, sipping long drinks by the swimming pool.

LA, it's been so long I can almost not remember what it felt like. I can picture our house in my head but not the smells, not the colors. I don't miss it but it's something that's been close to me all my life, and now it's only a fading memory.

Isn't it strange how quickly we forget?



I can't believe it's been almost two months since I last posted something here. It happens to me always, I close my eyes and when I open them again half a lifetime has already passed. I wonder if someone missed me while I was gone but realize they would have contacted me if they did.

I'm in Rome, I've been here for a couple of weeks with my dad. He acts as if nothing has happened between us, like I wasn't away from him for almost a year without calling. In a way it's a good thing, I can pretend too and be that little innocent girl I was for so long.

He's promised to take me to Milano soon, I remember lazy lunches at the Rinascente in the middle of the hot summer and how he would buy me pretty things just because he loved me.