On my own, not alone

I'm slowly realizing that I really want to go to London, I'm just a little afraid. I'm not that good at meeting new people in new places, but I know that's not an excuse. I have to let go as I've already started to do, if I'm ever going to grow as a person. Also, London has always been the city of my dreams, I have been fantasizing about it for so long. Dad promised he would take me there some day but it never happened, something else always came in between. Now I can do it on my own and as scary as that is it feels pretty good too.

London calling?

Weekends here are difficult, I'm running out of things to do. I'm used to being isolated but always with LA right around the corner. I need options, and here I don't have any. My aunt is giving away more and more of the family story without realizing it, talking on the phone with my father. There are things there I would have preferred not to know, but it also makes me understand him better. In a way he grows as a man, in another he gets smaller. He both had and lacked courage, but he made his choices and I don't think I can blame him anymore.

I talked to Avy yesterday, it felt good. She suggested I should go to London to visit her friend, I want to do it but I don't know her well enough. What's a girl to do?

La vita degli altri

Early night outside of Firenze, the whole family is at a bar watching Inter - Roma so I'm all alone. Still gathering the strength I need to return to what used to be my home, my other life in America. Seeing the images from 9-11 made me feel as if I need to go back soon, as if I need to protect and honor the country that raised me.

The other day my aunt took me to a Vasari exhibition at the Uffizi.  Walking around the hallways and rooms made me think of all those lost lives, all those people on whose shoulders we are still standing but that are long gone now. It makes me sad, reminding me how everything eventually comes to an end. As we perish only the memories remain, and they will soon be forgotten too.

The strangest thing is that my darling Avy seems to have been thinking the very same thing at almost the same time at a totally different place in the world. I miss her.