4/22/2011

Cross my heart

In a little while, I can breathe again. This day, Good Friday, has been one of sadness and grief. We have mourned Jesus Christ and silently thought about his sacrifice for humanity. I know I'm supposed to be humbled with shame and guilt, but I'm not. It bothers me for the sake of my family that raised me in the Catholic tradition. I want to feel what they feel and be one of them, but I keep feeling left out. I know it's my own fault for not believing hard enough or in the right way, but I don't know what to do about it. Instead, I keep quiet when father asks me if I'm greatful for what Jesus did for us. I try to nod like I really mean it, and avoid looking at him. I'm the worst liar, and that makes me hate lying even more.

It's not that I don't believe, I'm just not ashamed like I should be. I'm trying to work on it and I hope that the ones who care can see it.

27 comments:

  1. I know what you mean... I am not a believer at all... Honestly I don't really feel the spirit of this holiday...

    Beautiful outfit! Very elegant!

    Xoxo
    Plami

    http://fashion-thrill.blogspot.com/

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  2. I love your blog.Do U think we could follow each other?Let me know ,come and visit my site:http://all-about-mimi.blogspot.com/

    Kisses!

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  4. I have been through the same thing and it's hard! I hope you find strength to follow through but at the same time stay true to yourself and your heart!

    xoxo
    dontgonaked.blogspot

    thanks for the comment and following me!
    I'm following you!

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  5. Beautiful words, and such a lovely photo!



    Fashezine

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  6. lovely blog.
    :))))

    *follow your blog

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  7. Don´t play blame. Don´t worry. The important thing is to be happy. Congratulations on the blog

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  8. thanks so much for your lovely comment!super nice blog!!!^^

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  9. I m your new follower S.
    S. :) ( btw. that blouse is so lovely!)

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  10. Thank u so much * I'm glad you like it.
    I'm following your blog, it's really nice !

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  11. Hi!

    thank u for ur comment on my post :)

    i'm following u now. lets follow each other if u want? let me know by comment in my post!

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  12. i love the prim button down and bow tie! very chic! =)

    http://pinkchampagnefashion.blogspot.com/

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  13. Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog!

    Such an elegant and graceful photo to match the occasion. I loveeee your blouse and bow tie.

    I am now your new follower. Please follow me! X

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  14. wow! love your layout.. the combination of the colours is gorgeous!! :)


    partcipate at my G I V E A W A Y if you like !!
    http://s-snowhite.blogspot.com/2011/04/little-giveaway.html


    http://s-snowhite.blogspot.com/

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  15. just stay true to your heart! :D
    chic outfit!

    juilletclair.blogspot.com

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  16. Don't try so hard to believe in it. It will come when it has to.

    Let go.

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  17. I love your blog. your writings are so honest. Jesus doesn't want us to feel guilty for his sacrifice. He did it because He loves us that much. so much. The fact that you question things makes you truthful and admirable :) i mean how else are we going to know the truth?..now as for the eggs and bunnies..i'm still working on figuring out where all that fits in ;P

    thanks for you comment, btw!

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  18. Thanks for the comment :)
    I love your vintage blouse !
    my blog- follow me :

    http://modefemme.blogspot.com/

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  19. Really like your blouse, great!
    Nice blog! :)

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  20. great blog!
    nice word and nice pics!
    i follow! thanks for comment on my blog.
    i hope u will follow mw too

    www.hopethinkknow.com

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  21. i like your blog and i'll follow you
    i hope u'll follow me back

    www.hopthinkknow.com

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  22. the one who cares sees all...and yet, still loves unconditionally.

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