4/22/2011

Cross my heart

In a little while, I can breathe again. This day, Good Friday, has been one of sadness and grief. We have mourned Jesus Christ and silently thought about his sacrifice for humanity. I know I'm supposed to be humbled with shame and guilt, but I'm not. It bothers me for the sake of my family that raised me in the Catholic tradition. I want to feel what they feel and be one of them, but I keep feeling left out. I know it's my own fault for not believing hard enough or in the right way, but I don't know what to do about it. Instead, I keep quiet when father asks me if I'm greatful for what Jesus did for us. I try to nod like I really mean it, and avoid looking at him. I'm the worst liar, and that makes me hate lying even more.

It's not that I don't believe, I'm just not ashamed like I should be. I'm trying to work on it and I hope that the ones who care can see it.

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26 comments:

  1. PlamiApril 23, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    I know what you mean... I am not a believer at all... Honestly I don't really feel the spirit of this holiday...

    Beautiful outfit! Very elegant!

    Xoxo
    Plami

    http://fashion-thrill.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. ÞórhildurApril 23, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. ÞórhildurApril 23, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    I have been through the same thing and it's hard! I hope you find strength to follow through but at the same time stay true to yourself and your heart!

    xoxo
    dontgonaked.blogspot

    thanks for the comment and following me!
    I'm following you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ioana LilianaApril 24, 2011 at 12:45 AM

    Beautiful words, and such a lovely photo!


    ♥
    Fashezine

    ReplyDelete
  5. THE LADY EVEApril 24, 2011 at 7:28 AM

    Love your blog =)
    x

    ReplyDelete
  6. aisyaarazakApril 24, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    lovely blog.
    :))))

    *follow your blog

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. ThunderstruckApril 24, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    Don´t play blame. Don´t worry. The important thing is to be happy. Congratulations on the blog

    ReplyDelete
  8. modaslamonaApril 24, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    thanks so much for your lovely comment!super nice blog!!!^^

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sylvia von der HauptApril 24, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    I m your new follower S.
    S. :) ( btw. that blouse is so lovely!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Margarida David CardosoApril 24, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Thank u so much * I'm glad you like it.
    I'm following your blog, it's really nice !

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 24, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    What an adorable blouse :)

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  12. Diana SariApril 24, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Hi!

    thank u for ur comment on my post :)

    i'm following u now. lets follow each other if u want? let me know by comment in my post!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hope Adela PasztorApril 24, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    i love the prim button down and bow tie! very chic! =)

    http://pinkchampagnefashion.blogspot.com/

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  14. Miss Couture Vintage. XApril 25, 2011 at 12:42 AM

    Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog!

    Such an elegant and graceful photo to match the occasion. I loveeee your blouse and bow tie.

    I am now your new follower. Please follow me! X

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  15. no nameApril 25, 2011 at 4:13 AM

    i´t sad thought. :(

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fashion in the AlpsApril 25, 2011 at 4:35 AM

    wow! love your layout.. the combination of the colours is gorgeous!! :)


    partcipate at my G I V E A W A Y if you like !!
    http://s-snowhite.blogspot.com/2011/04/little-giveaway.html


    http://s-snowhite.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Juillet ClairApril 25, 2011 at 4:46 AM

    just stay true to your heart! :D
    chic outfit!

    juilletclair.blogspot.com

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  18. R.April 25, 2011 at 5:29 AM

    Don't try so hard to believe in it. It will come when it has to.

    Let go.

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  19. AnonymousApril 25, 2011 at 9:51 AM

    I love this photo :)

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  20. Paige ElyseApril 25, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    I love your blog. your writings are so honest. Jesus doesn't want us to feel guilty for his sacrifice. He did it because He loves us that much. so much. The fact that you question things makes you truthful and admirable :) i mean how else are we going to know the truth?..now as for the eggs and bunnies..i'm still working on figuring out where all that fits in ;P

    thanks for you comment, btw!

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  21. Yeraldin MorilloApril 26, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Thanks for the comment :)
    I love your vintage blouse !
    my blog- follow me :

    http://modefemme.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. NiciApril 27, 2011 at 5:34 AM

    Really like your blouse, great!
    Nice blog! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. UnknownApril 27, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    great blog!
    nice word and nice pics!
    i follow! thanks for comment on my blog.
    i hope u will follow mw too

    www.hopethinkknow.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. UnknownApril 27, 2011 at 5:43 AM

    i like your blog and i'll follow you
    i hope u'll follow me back

    www.hopthinkknow.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. AikoMay 6, 2011 at 1:53 AM

    nice blog
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  26. voidJune 21, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    the one who cares sees all...and yet, still loves unconditionally.

    ReplyDelete

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