Happy Christmas!

A little late I know, but I really wanted to relax these last few days. I've always loved Christmas because it's meant I can spend time with my family and forget everything else. This time it felt a little strange thanks to everything that has happened, but it worked. It cleared my mind, at least for a while, and that's worth a lot right now.

And hey, look at this, I got pants! It's been ages since I wore anything else than skirts and dresses, but obviously dad thought it was time for something new. I got him a Bvlgari watch, he said he loved it and I hope he really did. I can tell he likes to have me home again, he tries a little harder to make me happy. Not that he didn't in the past but I think he's realized he also has to listen. I'm not a child anymore, although I'll always be his daughter.

How have you been my darlings?

A friend in need

I told mom about my fashion project, but now I wish I hadn't. For a woman who's never worked for anything in her life she can be very judgmental. Dad doesn't know yet but I suspect he will soon enough.

I really want to do something with my life and I'm glad I've figured out where to start, but it feels strange at the same time. For the first time I'm heading somewhere and I guess I should feel free but I don't. When I was younger I was trapped but it didn't feel that way, now I can do whatever I want but my own expectations are weighing me down. I hope it will pass.

Henry is stil cute. Lately he's been the only one I feel I can talk to.

H and I

I spent this past weekend with Henry, not doing anything, just walking and talking. He listens and that's always worth something. Sometimes I talk too much and realize I want to ask him something, so I do. He doesn't say a lot but that just makes me more curious.

I know that Avy has mixed feelings about all this, she told me. I understand her because in retrospect I've always been the one who's been left out. But I'm not doing this for anyone else, I'm doing it for me, Henry makes me happy and I enjoy being close to him. Where it leads me is a question for the future.

I'm in fashion, maybe

Although I'm not one myself I've always been inspired by people who do things, who make things happen. So I thought to myself, what could I do, not for someone else but for myself? And watching this Chanel show I got the idea to make clothes. Why not? I love fashion and I've always had it close to me, so why not give it an honest try. I'm not sure where to begin yet, but Avy's coming over in a little while so I thought I'd take it up with her. Wish me luck!