Growing up

Twelve days have passed, I feel strangely liberated. I look back at my life and wonder how I could fall for the lies, how I could be the good girl without feeling as if I just acted. I think I can see more clearly than ever before, but it might also be the silent rage that blocks me from grasping everything else. I'm trying to gather my thoughts and understand what has really changed, apart from the obvious.

This Sunday the whole family is supposed to go to the church. I'll pretend I'm sick, I don't have anything more to say to God after what he did to me. No excuses, no forgiving. I'm done with Him.


  1. There is a reason for everything. I will pray for you.

  2. I feel the same way too at times.

  3. I felt this way many times. Sometimes i distracted myself from it and pretended to be the same as before but it never worked for a long time.
    I hope you'll be feeling better ♥

  4. <3 <3
    you said you just discovered my blog but i was on hiatus - good news.
    I started a new blog <3

    and your in my prayers <3

  5. Thank you for your comment on my blog. I often feel like an outsider in my family's religious bubble as well. The world is just not that black and white. No matter how much i pull away or resent it at times, it is how I was raised--what they don't understand though, is that we have to figure out things for ourselves. Don't let anyone tell you what to believe.

  6. god and i broke up.

    it was him, not me.

  7. nice post!
    really like youre blog!
    I'm following now!
    wanna follow me?

  8. Great post !!!! thanks for visiting mine and leaving a comment !!! I hope you keep visiting and be my FOLLOWER as I'm yours now !!!


  9. Hang in there, take it by day <3


  10. to being real, and raw, and knowing what's best for others, isn't necessarily what is best for you. there is nothing wrong with being true to yourself.

  11. I'm so glad you commented on my blog - you've caught me with your hook and have happily drug me in with your lines. --that being said, I understand your pain with religion and life - and your fascination of it - keep living and you'll see there's more you didn't know could be possible. :-)

  12. My dear S,

    God does exist.

    He is real and he loves you. If we did not endure pain, we would be wimps.
    I'd rather be strong and have endured pain than not know the difference. It makes me feel more real.

    you're a marvelous writer. keep up the good work!