Tom notices it sometimes when I stop talking and disappear into my thoughts, but I just tell him I'm tired and that I need to rest for a while. Sooner or later I have to talk to him, I'm just not sure what to say.
I wish we could find somewhere to settle down for a while, just a couple of weeks, to regain the energy I've lost. I have family here, but I'm not ready to meet them yet, at least I don't think I am. It would only remind me of my father, of the times I've spent here when I was someone else, and the fact that they are not lost forever. Oh, I have to turn all this around somehow, it's bringing me down.