4/22/2012

Things we lost in the fire

I'm tired and I'm not sure why, maybe because we've been going from one place to other more or less every day for the past month or so. It's not the traveling itself that's tiring but that eery feeling of being on the run from something. I can't put my finger on what it is (a lost childhood?), but it's constantly there like a nagging voice whispering in my ear or the blurred reflection in a dusty mirror.

Tom notices it sometimes when I stop talking and disappear into my thoughts, but I just tell him I'm tired and that I need to rest for a while. Sooner or later I have to talk to him, I'm just not sure what to say.

I wish we could find somewhere to settle down for a while, just a couple of weeks, to regain the energy I've lost. I have family here, but I'm not ready to meet them yet, at least I don't think I am. It would only remind me of my father, of the times I've spent here when I was someone else, and the fact that they are not lost forever. Oh, I have to turn all this around somehow, it's bringing me down.




14 comments:

  1. Its good that you kept travelling. You got to see so many places. And more or less it prevented unnecessary thoughts that way.. had you been all free, having nothing to do, you'd have ended up with over thinking, perhaps.

    Its okay. You'll settle down. :) Don't let anything dampen your spirits!

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  2. Thank you xoxo ! <3
    Don't be too hard on yourself. I have those thoughts everyday. Something I think so hard that a random-never-been-thought-of memory would pop up, & at times it would make me smile. Sometimes they remind me why I'm still here,- & that the pass will always be there because that is what made YOU today. Everyone has gone through some loss, but don't you think you've earned something back from it? xo
    I'm following, :) Your blog is real, You are real. xo

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  3. I hate skipping around like that too. Don't bottle it up too much. These things have a habit of exploding if you ignore them for too long. Peace and strength! Xo

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  4. the gypsy life can tire one's soul.
    you articulate your thoughts so poetically
    with a hard to resist delicacy.

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  5. Very interesting blog.
    I'm from Greece,but i know English.
    I"ll be reading you!

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  6. things do get better, i promise. and when i say i promise i know its hard to make that promise through the computer screen, but it does. just believe me. -end of deep and meangingful explanation-

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  7. Thanx to your comment ☆
    Your blog is NICE blog :)

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  8. A world of band aids
    Temporary fixes
    Distractions

    We don't know how
    To fix ourselves



    Good write.

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  9. I like your blog and pics, very nice!

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  10. traveling can be exhausting at times...

    http://fizzvideo.blogspot.com/

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  11. Great blog and I love those pictures, so beautiful:)
    I'm following:)
    and btw thanks for your comment:)
    <3

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    ReplyDelete